Metro Music

To deal with my sense of a lack of personal space on the metro I use music. With my headphones on and some music playing I can 'push back' at the people around me in a way I can not physically do.

The music helps me focus on not being anxious about the presence of so many unknowns around me. I make neither type I nor type II errors as far as I know. Type I is believing there is a threat where there is none. Type II is believing there is no threat when there is one.

I tend more towards type I, which is the least serious of the two errors. In fact, it is more like generalized anxiety about being around people I do not know and do not necessarily care to know.

Sometimes I look at my friends and think: how would he/she appear to me if I saw them on the metro? Occasionally I do see a friend on the metro. They do not always see me. Usually we say hi, but not always. Maybe it is too busy or we are too tired or I don't bother to break them out of their reverie. It is never alarming. For instance, I do not see friends as different people when I see them on the metro.

Other times I look at a stranger on the metro who seems odd to me (not a threat but a weird unknown) and I think maybe that person is just like my friend. Maybe they are not a demented smelly idiot and pathological liar. Maybe in fact that person right there is an intelligent and considerate person I would be proud to call a friend? I mean this seriously because when I get freaked out by strangers on the metro I tell myself they are people just like me.